Empty. Alone.

26th

In just 45 mins, its my birthday. What do i want on my birthday? Im not sure. For now i fell like i need a good cry. Y? I dont knw. Bt watever it is alhamdulillah im still here with my adorable kids healthy n well.. Happy birthday Gina!

Need a vacation

Really need a vacation. Just me and my kids. Need to release every bit of stress i have. Help! ;(

Need to spill

Its been to long since i post any pics or even type anything here. But today i feel so suffocated n need to talk to someone or evn shout to anyone. Bt there is no one.so thn i realize i hav this blog.I dont think anyone wld read this anyway so i decided i shld juz express it here.
I am happy n so lucky tht i hav 2 lovely kids.they are my everything after ALLAH of coz.Bt there is times i do feel so lonely n helpless. And i cant do anything abt it. Its so hard to just stay cool abt evrything bt deep inside the need to shout n get help is what i really want or just burst into tears n cry all day wld b great.It will b so embarassing if i do it for real..
Dear ALLAH, plz help me.. U r the only ONE knw abt this. Im begging U for ur kindness n help me. Help n guide me to your path so insyaALLAH one day i cld breath again,happy n always be there for my kids. Amin..

Kaka on a shoot,iklan Astro raya Tok Wan!

Kaka on her iklan raya Tok wan...

Sgt happy...

Dpt main bunga api free..hehe.n this is b4 puasa..

also..makan kambing panggang freeeeee..yum2...
Frm petang till 11pm kot..cldnt remembr tp kaka x pnat pn seronok..dikku smpat tdo kebosanan x dpt msk..sorry dikku..huhu

anyway,

Iklan sudah keluar..

X nmpak kaka pn.samar2 je..still she is so happy"kite masuk tv,mummy.."hehehe

if u look closely she is at the background,kids playing bunga api..

yg bju purple tu kaka la tu..hehehe

We got inai art!! sgt santek!!!

makan durians...yumm..pesta buah!hehe

owh,we r Floor Fever Fan!yeay!

kaka with O'nyang new kitty!!cute

At uncle Hatim's kebun...chilling...

Bnyak penternakan berlaku...

Bt theres a turkey keep following dikku..

n the turkey likes to kick small kids...

gile tkut bile dh dkat,bsar kot...huhuhu

tp yg lain2 comel.. chicks,ducks..hehehe

Updates Lagi!!

School Holiday!!

Uncle Azzril's the best!hehe

Kami ke Petrosains!

Having lots of fun!Again thanks to Azzril for sponsoring the tix n dine @chilis!

Congrats to my friend on her wedding day..

Semoga kekal dunia akhirat.. Amin.. :)

Owh,i did the cakes!! cute kan!hehe

More Updates!

Congrats to mylovely friend on her engagement! Love u!

thn enjoying our day with mama!

Thanks to Aboy n Mas for making my dolls so happy!

n also to kak Lenny for giving discount tix..Love u all!!

So many rides we didnt hav the time to explore everything...huhu

Next year kte pg lagi k! Unless ade spe2 mau blanje kami! :P

Syasya "The Best Day Ever!"hehehe

bt it was so true n also tiring gile kot..huhu

HAPPY!!

Updates!!

Salam.. picture updates,yeay!

The pets we currently have!

Booth Spa D'Tua...
Cuci2 mata @ ikea
Its Adikku's 3rd Birthday!
She was super happy she got a bike for her bday!

Bgn tdo trus main k..dia paksa Lulu naik...haha

Thn went to Azzril n kak ilah's hse to celebrate... :)))
Ur three now my darling...Always love u my baby dikku...

Thn went for dikku 1st train ride!yeay!

Thank u Aboy!
We hav a day of splash!! Amt menarik!
Kaka Sports Day!

mummy made her 1st pom2 for her darling kaka..

Go hijau!!!!

n adikku pn sibuk! she's voting for her "rumah pink"haha
My Darling Won!!!!

how adorable... :)))) Loving this moment.. Congrats for my Kaka ku!!

7 month plus..

its been 7 month plus since i last update this blog of mine..

gile kotor..yuck..haha

but..u juz wait..

ive line up alot of pics wat weve been up to since jan..yeah...

tunggguuuuu....... :)))

i hate the school!!

-plz do note tht im really dissapointd n angry rite now..bad language is a no no bt im hurt-

the story....

the past week kaka brag all day asking me to come to her school for her hari anugerah..

"mummy pergi la..kite nnti dapat hadiah drjah 1..kte dpt no 4..plzzzzzz"

like always saya yg sgt baik suke sakat kaka.. "xnakkkkkkk" hehe

itupn cm nk nangis mummy kate camtu..alolololo..thn mummy pastilah pergi kan...

sbb b4 tht the schedule was only Hari PIBG..mmg x minat lakan..haha(calon mak yg trbaik :P)

bt sbb kaka plak gna pn pergila...

ok the day is here...

kaka woke up early thn usual(lagi awal dr hari nak pegi sek hari biasa kot)

x sabar la konon..huhu.tp dia kata 815 bru pg kat sek..

so disbbkan kami berniaga kami pergila ke spa dulu its still 7am pn..

watpe nk g awl2 pn kan..(sbb b4 tht dad dh tnye pegawai tuh start penyampaian hadiah pkul 10) so early sgt lagi!! kami pn ke spa...

tp ade plak customer/kawan dad dtg..borak psl business.borak pnye borak.. kul 9 bru kami ke sane...

smpai sne nmpak lak minah ni..cikgu class syasya trus la pg kat dia...

g-"cikgu ape saya kna wat nih?"

c-"ni nak amik hadiah ke?"

g-"ha ah"

c-"letak dia kat kelas tuh" (pointing to a class nearby)

g-"owh.terima kasih.."(like hell la cikgu klu aku tau nk jdi cmni mmg x terima kasih la aku!!)

gna pn anta la kaka nih pg class tuh..

thn xde pe,gna pn pegi la kat dewan kelas...konon PIBG la jgk kan..pdhal x heran..haha

mak ai...tunggu pnye tunggu x siap2 gak PIBG..lambat gile..smpai la tengahari dia bru start..

ni pn dh panas lakan..(x sopan mmg dtg nk tgk ank je.. :P)

anyway..bermulalah hari anugerah....

bagi kelas 2 mulia,tempat pertama adik ........

tmpat ke2 .....(time nih mummy dh berdiri la kan konon2 nk woohoo la kan...)

tempat ke3 .....

tempat ke5 ...... (ops mne lak cikgu ni terlepas no...tergelak la jap kan..konon terlepas)

thn...

"utk pengetahuan no 4 adik nurfareesya bt khairul azuan tp tidak hadir pd hri ini.."

WAT????!!!!!!ok cool lg..

tgk muke kaka dh pelik mne name kite....nmpak dia ckp ngn cikgu..so mummy pn kuala nk ckp ngn cikgu...

g-"cikgu,knape kate x hadir padahal ade kat sni?"

c-"owh,itulah..xtau dia ade..ingt x dtg mugkin xde dlm kelas kot...xpe2 nnt dapat hadiah"

g-"ok"

saya pn berlalu pergi masuk ke dewan bodo tu blk...

tunggu la konon2 ade pembetulan...

guess wat... anugerah tuh sambung ke darjah 2..darjah 3...wat the heck??

mne ni??gna pn kua blk..pg kat kaka...

kaka dh pegang kepala dh...(dh tau slalu cmtu dia tahan nk nangis)

tnye la cikgu..dia kate ingat syasya x dtg.. kami ni bkn boleh cam muke2 sume murid..

thn dia kata..c-"len kali dtgla awal.." wat????????

dad pn kate.. d-"knape ley cmni?check skali je?"

c-"eh,kami check 2,eh 3 kali dh" suare nk poyo lakan dh meninggi..

d-"xlay msalahnye cikgu tuh yg kate letak dia situ.."

g-"saya dtg td masuk2 tnye cikgu tuh ape ptt saya buat dia kate letak kat kelas tuh je.

xde pn nk bgtau kna daftar ke mende ke..."

c-"kami xtau yg dia dtg kami amik kedatangan dia xde.ala jgn risau hadiah kte bg pnye"

d-"kteorg x heran hadiah bdk tuh dh seronok nk naik pentas.."

c-"xley nk wat pe la cik,kami xtau dia ade..."

IM SO PISS RITE NOW!!(kaka dh start nangis)

c-"ala..jgn nangis..nnt dpt jgk hadiah..." WTFUCK la kan!!!!!!

(ingt ank aku kempunan ke hadiah bodo tu??)

g-"DH2 JOM BALIK!!"

c-"eh jap amik hadiah ni.."

g-"huh??" (x phm aku x heran???????????)

c-"nah xyah nangis2 ye..ade hadiah ni..."

aku pn blah la kan..x jawab bodo pn....

ay stupid la...ko ingt aku heran ke nak hadiah???

ank aku seronok konon2 naik pentas...thn aku pn tnggu lame tau2 dpt hadiah cmtu je..

wattttttt????

plz..xkan la...u can atleast buat pembetulan.."maaf nurfareesya hadir ke..."

ni tak..mcm la xley spare skit mase wat pmbetulan.

tgk bdk tuh kesian la skit... FUCK!!

hampehhhhhh!!!!

FYI- last year iskandar dpt hadiah,kaka x dpt..thn this year kaka dpt,isk plak x.

mne la x happening keseronokan dia..like it was "atlast its my turn now..."

kaka ni dhla mmg super sensative..

for tht moment i also want to cry to see my child hurt... DAMN!!

n this is not the 1st time i dislike this school..

there were this one time i heard tht this one teacher or like ustazah kot!!

cursing a kid!!wat??apehal la...ajar bdk ape nih??

bododo...!!bnyak bnda g jadi..malas nk cte g..PENAT!!

dun cry my dear sayang...

Anyway hati dh ditnteram kan dgn nur belanja kaka ice blended!yeay..thanks nur!!

mummy belanje ice cream..thn halimah bagi syasya pencil n eraser..

so she's back to my gedik kaka!yeay!!!

the 'SIJIL'... congrats kaka ku!!!

n whn she opn the present she get...

she was like...with the attitude n say "BOHRING....."

haha nice one kaka...i cn buy u tht like 100 of thm kot xyah naik pntas...

like i said"ADE AKU HERAN HADIAH TU KE???"

yes baby!yuck! huhu..

"dear kaka...u always got a medal frm me...ur always my winner..

evn whn im mad at you..ur just always my baby darling yg gedik...

dun b sad my kaka... im always proud of u...

no need any hari anugerah to make me proud..

ur my winner!!!

mummy cayang kamu!!!!!"